The Closet Extrovert

I can’t believe I missed the catalytic posts about this on Boing Boing last year and all the resulting media coverage since then. Eh well… better late than neverly, I have finally found a religion I can get behind, Pastafarianism! Aside from the wonderful parody of creationism, a faith based on an invisible creature with cthulhu-like tentacles seems as plausible as any of the Old Testament religions to me. One of the best manifestations of the Noodly Master so far is, quite suitably, in one of my old stomping grounds, Baltimore.

According to Wikipedia, the canonical beliefs of Pastafarianism include:

• An invisible and undetectable Flying Spaghetti Monster created the universe, starting with a mountain, trees and a midgit [sic].
• Global warming, earthquakes, hurricanes, and other natural disasters are a direct consequence of the decline in numbers of pirates since the 19th Century.
• Pirates are a major component of the Pastafarian belief system. Pirates are supposedly “absolute divine beings” in Pastafarianism.
• All evidence pointing towards evolution was intentionally planted by the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
• Pastafarian heaven includes at least one beer volcano and one stripper factory.
• “RAmen” is the official conclusion to prayers, certain sections of the Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, etc.
• The Eight “I’d Really Rather You Didn’ts” were given to Pirate Mosey by the Flying Spaghetti Monster himself. There were originally ten, but two were dropped “on the way down the mountain”, which partly accounts for Pastafarians’ self-proclaimed flimsy moral standards.

See also: Uncyclopedia’s Flying Spaghetti Monster article

Time to go pick up a copy of The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster!